Men Sacrifices…!

Posted: December 19, 2014 in Funny Stories

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud’nt control his curiosity n asked “Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?” She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. ………….. Moral : Accompany ur wife….

The story continues….
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card……….
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues….
Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and swiped. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own card.
Moral: Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.
😎

Still continues…
After swiping, the machine indicated ‘ENTER OTP SENT TO YOUR MOBILE’.
Moral: When Man tends to lose, machine is smart enough to save him!
πŸ˜€

Still continues….
When she turned back with depression, her mobile ringed showing forwarded SMS “your OTP is……” Finally she bought her items & returned back happily
Moral: what are you thinking about Men! He always sacrifices himself for his wife
πŸ˜‡

5 Idiots!

Posted: December 14, 2014 in Funny Stories

A King of a Kingdom called his Prime Minister and asked, like there are Brilliant people in his State will there be Idiots available?

Minister said there will be.

King then ordered his Minister to go around the State search and bring 5 of such Idiots and present to him in the Council.

Minister was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some form of competition, but how to identify Idiots. However he goes around the State and after a month comes back with 2 such people. There after following is the conversation between King and Minister.

King: Dear Minister I think you are poor in counting, I asked for 5 people and you have brought only 2.

Minister: Your Highness please let me explain and then you will know yourself.

King: OK. Go ahead.

Minister: When I was going around the State I found this guy carrying a huge Gunny Bag on his head and travelling in a Bullock Cart. When I asked he said that if he keeps the bag in the Cart it will be overloaded and hurt the Bulls. I realised he is the 5th Idiot and brought him to you.

King: Excellent. Next.

Minister: I saw the other guy was taking his Buffalo to the roof top of his house for grazing where grass was found grown. I realised he is the 4th Idiot and brought him to you.

King: Fine. Next.

Minister: When there are so many problems in the functioning of this kingdom, leaving those entire aside I have been going around the State for a month wasting my time in searching for Idiots, hence I am the 3rd Idiot.

King: Laughs out loud. Next.

Minister: Instead of solving all the problems that are there in the Kingdom, you have been looking for Idiots in your State, hence you are the 2nd Idiot.

Hearing this entire Council was scared and there was pin drop silence.

King: Fine there is truth in your statement. Who is the 1st Idiot?

Minister: Your Highness when there are so much of work in the Office and Home to attend to, leaving all this aside person who is reading this Story to know who is the 1st Idiot in ‘What’s App’ is the 1st Idiot.

The Crow, The Parrot and The Peacock

A crow lived in the forest and was absolutely satisfied in life.

But one day he saw a swan. “This swan is so white,” he thought, “and I am so black.

This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.”

He expressed his thoughts to the swan. “Actually,” the swan replied, “I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colours. I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.”

The crow then approached the parrot. The parrot explained, “I lived a very happy lifeuntil I saw a peacock. I have only two colours, but the
peacock has multiple colours.”

The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him.

After the people had left, the crow approached the peacock. “Dear peacock,” the crow said, “you are so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately shoo me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.”

The peacock replied, “I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo.

I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage. So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow, I could happily roam everywhere.”

That’s our problem too. We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don’t value what God has given us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.

Have Life ahead valuing the things God has given us.

Learn the secret of being happy and discard the comparison which leads only to unhappiness.

Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff. But then the teacher realized that only Little Johnny was left. “Johnny, do you have a story to share ?”

“Yes madam… My daddy told me a story about my Mom. She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story???” “Stay away from Mommy when she’s drunk……!!!!”

Chatting While Working

Posted: August 12, 2014 in Funny Stories

An employee was chatting on the web seriously with a lady called Amy. Manager walks into his cube and asks…

Manager: Can you write me a program for sorting the float values.

Employee (Steve): I am kind of busy with another job. I will be able to give you the complete program by tomorrow.
…….Back to chat……

Steve: Sorry for late reply!!! My stupid boss was here.

Amy: Bosses are really pain right?

Steve: Yep!! They are pain in…

Amy: Can you do me a favor darling.

Steve: I am for you honey.

Amy: Can you write me a program to sort float.

Steve: Oh honey!! It’s on my finger tips….Here you go.

Amy: Dude!!! that is what I asked you at your cubicle.